I found David, and he helped save me.

[Vertigo]

Or maybe David found me. Either way, I know something special now. I know a few of you have had anamolous experiences after David died, especially Hilary. Mine took a while. David had nothing to tell me, it's more of what he left me. I believe a part of his soul resides in me.

As you may recall, one of Hilary's dreams showed Dave as being very busy. He had a lot he had to accomplish before he could move forward. He loved you guys, more than he could say. Even if he didn't get to talk to you as often as he liked, he did. Believe me, he made up for it in his passing. Some of you will take a while to see. His soul is teaching me to find and embrace my humanity.

I had to listen to his later recordings to see it. There is a subconscious energy to it. I listened, and it was no longer "I can relate," but became like notes I verbally dictated to consider later. I found meaning all the way back to Up Off The Floor. Later recordings seemed less like dictation. Because of this, I think there are others with that imprint of his soul with them, and may find a circumstance similar to mine, if you have not already.

Our souls gravitate to events as we get closer to them. Even many years down the road. Our soul speaks to us and warns us, consciously and subconsciously. You will know when it does.

David, when he was alive, mentioned that I should come and live in PA. I always wondered why. I know now that is where the root of my humanity lies. Being in my own shell, and never having my heart on my sleeve, I could never really connect with other humans on a level deeper than my own insecurities. I then reached a very dark point in my life, after he died. I lost focus in any beauty in this world. I saw it all for nothing, and meaningless. Not that I was depressed. I was happy with me for the most part, and I still am. Then, it happened, Alison came into my life. She resides in PA. I saw a beauty in her that drew out my very soul to want to be human. I was compelled, like never before, to drop that shell. I am before her, naked, even now. My heart is on my sleeve, and it is bleeding. She is lost, and in her journey to find herself, she has put me on a string. We are no longer together. I believe in her heart that she knows our love is true and deserves to flourish. I am commited to her, 100%. She is the last love of my life. But I am human now.

I don't know if you guys want to comment on this, or make this a collection of ominous events after his passing. Either way, I think it's important to discuss these things.

[asamorris]

on a light note, your sig at the end really added a smile after all of that.


I never knew david, more than a couple of messages on myspace. I do know his music however. Litscsa got me through a very rough time. 3 straight years of rough times. I read a review of it once that called it "muddy". at first i was offended. this was music that explained who i was then, you know? but then i realized, it is muddy. And so was I. I connected to that record like no other. Don't get me wrong, the other releases are beautiful in their own right, but Litscsa is a part of me now. David's lyrics, written in a time of trouble for him, became a part of me. I owe David (and Jeff as well) an amazing debt of gratitude. I can't help but think that david survived just long enough to become healthy, clear, and logical, where he was supposed to be, in the eyes of someone else. He, i believe, was put here to show us that no matter what, we can pull through. He, for three years, was as close to a saviour as i have ever known. I will always cherish that.

[Smell the Vapors]

I've had more than a few rough times in my life. I first noticed GLU as I saw the music video for No More Love. This odd Amalgam of rock, and techno, really caught my ear. I really didn't understand it though until LitSCSA had come out. This is the first cd released by GLU I had really listened to, I was in awe, as to what could be done with music, It was a far cry from the world of Grunge (imho) a genre that had been the mainstay for the better part of the 90's. The beats, the chords, bridges, and most of all, the vocals and lyrics, very raw, (which I would say is the only thing similar to that of grunge ala cobain) The Lyrics, though are what caught my attention, because in order to hear them, you really had to listen. I'm not saying it was a bad recording job, I know that the real presence was the music. The Lyrics, especially in my favorite song "Vapors". Anyways...

I was also lucky enough to talk to David through myspace, where He told me he liked my "handle" at the time which had been "Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt", because it was the name of one of his favorite albums of all time, I inquired as to who the album was done by, but I had sent this to him a week before his passing, so I've never known who was responsible, and where I could find this album.

I think The music David was making the last year he was with us, has his soul imprinted on it. He made it through the toughest times of his life, and he helped me through my worst times last year, when I had been diagnosed and almost died of Diabetes. (if you want the full story I can PM you if you'd like) I read about how he'd manage to kick his bad habits, how he'd been sober for 5,10,20 days etc., How he's creating this wonderful ep for CPR, getting to listen to those songs for free off his website, even the sad stuff we should have seen that I see Hilary talking about to david in his comments, the things we may have been able to prevent, had we known what was ultimately going to happen.

But then in those same blogs we saw this new side of David, full of life, and especially full of Love. He made a song for us, his fans, He invited us all to his wedding. Then the worst news I had heard in years fell upon my eyes, as I read that post. on October 17th, that David had passed on. I thought it was the worst joke ever. I looked around for more info, and I saw the comment from Dave Sherman on David's myspace. My heart had immediately sunk. I didn't know what to think. All I could really say is "why?" Why is it that we must endure the worst things thrown at us {in life}, but when we finally get a break, when finally things go right, we're taken away? I still ask myself to this day, that question.

We were in the midst of the Reilly Revolution, and our savior became our martyr, I honestly felt lost.

What was I going to do?

I wrote a small blog about him which I know some of you read, It was the first blog I had ever wrote. I was hurt and felt I needed to let the steam out, before I blew up. It was the best thing I could've done. I've never felt I was a good writer, but what I wrote about him felt good.

I think David helped me realize that I can write, I can sing, I can play my guitar. I write everyday, I play my guitar everyday, and I sing in the car, because I know I won't piss anyone off with my tone deaf a.s.s.

I hate the fact that David had to leave us, but atleast he left us with his Legacy. He has imprinted his soul onto all of us, because we cared about his music, and his life, and I will say I'm jealous and envious of all who had actually spent time with the man, but the fact that he was able to create these rhythms, and bridges, and vocals leaves me feeling special as well, because in all the words he wrote, he left something for all of us. Something special for each individual person who is lucky enough to have had the chance to listen to his music. It may not be the same for each person, and it will all have a different meaning to all of us. But we all know he loved us, we loved him, and we loved his music.

Josh.

[silvercrank]

if i could only verbalize my feelings.

its like, for as long as he 'posted' on this board, i kept feeling like i was, um, 'too attached'. and that, um.... the connection i felt, was just an illusion and i was just becoming way too hardcore of a fan. and after 2004 i slowly started to realize that it wasnt just this stupid fan-band ppl relationship but we all here were like a family in some sense. that, we all had this connection, and we all felt this, and understood, the music. and it went beyond everything, and touched our souls. i realized that my love was real, and not in a crazy way, but that we genuinely loved this man for what he taught us, the words that helped us cope through so much, and that just the same he fed off us, off our love and it was all symbiotic. when we needed him the most he was here, and vice versa. it couldnt have been more perfect and we couldnt have connected all so much on a personal level unless we all went to each others places and hung out, haha. in some cases some of us did that. but you all get it. its all unspoken, whihc is wonderful., we dont even quesiton it, we know what we had, and what we have, and that has taught me so much.

everyday that i evolve from a certain stage of mourning this man i learn someting, and i see something in juuuuuust a little different perspective than before, and that little difference has made such a huge change in my life. david better have got his wings in heaven because, geez he had an impact on so many.

[Vertigo]

I just got home. I was stopped on the last major street to my house by a train. Trains do not generally pass here, not at this time. The train was incredibly loud, it rumbled and squeeled in a way I have not heard before. Then I got the feeling that David wanted me to stop...slow down, be patient. I put my car in park, and just sat, with my head slightly out my window, listening. Minutes have gone by, my mind is calming. I then asked aloud, "Is that what you wanted to tell me?" The end of the train then appeared. I let the waiting cars merge in, merge to the right. The last car had a plate of "Wattevr." He went to the right lane. All the cars that merged went to the right lane. I had to take my left, to enter my neighborhood and go home.

What now? What is right?

[silvercrank]

you need your sleep. things will come to you when you relax.